Dating Ads for Real People

If you're single today, you know about it. Just how honest are most profiles on dating sites? Not very.

The interesting thing to note is that one can hear complaints all the time about how dishonest or unrealistic/superficial/materialistic the profiles are of other people. Yet, the individuals who tend to complain the loudest seem to be some of the worst offenders.

Advice columnists offer wide ranges of advice. Yet, the thing they most often avoid advising is simple honesty. There's lots of advice on being safe. Lots of advice on fixing problems in relationships or on whether to leave the person you're with. What tends to be lacking most is advice on avoiding some of those problems to begin with.

Another interesting thing is how many people state what they are looking for in a date/mate, etc. I'll assume you're single and have a profile on at least one dating site or are considering it, since you're reading this. So, have you ever looked objectively at your own profile and read it from the perspective of someone you would want to reply? You may have stated well what you want from them. However, what's in it for them?

I am a straight divorced male. My view is stated from that standpoint, though the same holds true for the female standpoint. No small number of ads from women can be summed up this way: "I am a BBW mother of 3 children. Would like to meet a man who is tall, handsome, fit, successful, not looking for sex, not superficial and understands my children will always come first. Must be a gentleman and pay my way when we go out. No cheaters or players."

Now, translate that yourself. Most people will see it translated this way: "I am overweight and have 3 kids, looking for someone to be a substitute father to them. I am not very attractive or in very good shape but you should be. Your feelings will never be my first consideration. I am not successful and have no money, so I will be dependent on you. I do not enjoy sex, will rarely have sex with you and expect that you will not seek it anywhere else."

Yeah, I can see the lines forming to jump at that chance!