Post-Nuptial Agreement: How to Tell Your Spouse You Want One

In a previous article I described the many reasons a couple might decide to get a postnuptial agreement. Those reasons included defining the legal relationship and amending a prenuptial agreement. You may have made the decision you'd like to get a postnuptial agreement for your marriage.

How do you inform your spouse that you want a postnuptial agreement? Here are some ways to bring up the topic and handle the conversation.

1. If you've already made up your mind that you'd like a postnuptial agreement, set a goal date to have the conversation with your spouse. If there are new changes in lifestyle, such as one spouse staying home to care for a child, this could be an opportune time to bring up an agreement. You could ask your financial planner to bring up the issue when you discuss your family's financial planning.

2. Prepare for the conversation. Your spouse will want to know why you want a marriage contract. Be prepared to answer any questions he or she may have.

3. Find a peaceful, neutral location to discuss a postnuptial agreement. The location can be a place where you've discussed other important topics regarding your relationship. This can be at the kitchen table, in your living room or in a peaceful backyard setting. Pick a day where there won't be any other distractions, such as a house full of children.

4. Proceed carefully with the conversation. Your spouse's reaction may be one of surprise or apprehension. Your partner may first assume that the marriage is in trouble or that you want a divorce -especially if you've never discussed marriage contracts. Handle this sensitive topic carefully.

6. Handle the topic from a teamwork point of view. When speaking with your spouse mention the benefits the postnuptial agreement would have for both of you. Be straightforward. If you are firm in your desire for a postnuptial agreement, be confident in your approach.