Why You're a Bad Parent

How Society Deems Us All Unfit Parents

By Susan Payton, published Jul 27, 2006
Published Content: 32  Total Views: 6,389  Favorited By: 5 CPs
Rating: 3.7 of 5
Parenting is hard work. And with so many "how to" books and unwanted advice out there, it's hard to know what to listen to. All of us who are parents have experienced The Judgement. It comes from books. It comes from complete strangers. And it comes from friends. You know what I'm talking about. The look or paragraph that says "if you do this, you must be a bad parent."

I have a confession to make. My husband and I feed my two-year-old son M & Ms to get him to sit on the potty. We let him watch Dora the Explorer far longer than we should. We let him have popcorn for breakfast. Occasionally he sleeps in our bed. Sometimes if he's throwing a tantrum in a store, we buy him what he wants.

Will he turn into a hardened criminal? I doubt it. He seems to be a pretty good kid despite our erratic parenting behavior.

I say we take a stand as parents to do whatever we need to to raise our children. "Bad parenting" glares from complete strangers should be punishable by a fine. How can anyone but you know how to raise your own children??

The subject of parenting has been overscrutinized for centuries. I think we've run out of new information.

Superiority Complex
Now magazines are discussing the negative impact over-praising your child will have. Telling him he's wonderful or doing a good job too often can give him a false image of himself, and lead to narcissism. And we know we already have an overabundance of confident people in the world!

Gimme Gimme
Rewarding your child for good behavior only leads him to expect reward and that doesn't motivate him to pick up his room or sit on the potty for the pure good of doing so. As if a toddler can see beyond his own wants and needs.

What’s Wrong with Her??
If she's not potty trained by the time she's four (or reading by the time she's two), something must be wrong with her. Please. Think about it. You move to another country where you don't speak the language. You struggle to communicate with people who just look at you with sympathy. It's all you can do to pick up a few key phrases, and then suddenly they want you to learn how to tap dance. Right now. How would you react? You'd probably lay down and throw a tantrum too.

Why You're a Bad Parent

Do whatever it takes!

Credit: Susan Payton

Copyright: Susan Payton

Takeaways
  • Candy bars for dinner will not make your child a deviant.
  • It's okay to skip a bath (or three). Lotion will cover the smell.
  • There are plenty of ten-year-olds running around in diapers. Give it time.
Did You Know?
It's hard to mess up parenting. Just avoid shaking a baby, remember to feed them, and keep them out of the street.
Comments
Showing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
 
 
What a load of crap! Of course there is a right way and a wrong way to raise children and the way you're raised does effect who you are as an adult. We all come into this world a blank slate, for the most part we are who our parents teach us to be (spoiled, self-centered, fearful, polite, considerate, charitable, compassionate etc.) I'm not saying feeding your kids M&M's so he'll use the potty will scar him for life but I don't think that's what the "judgmental stares" you speak of are about. It's about the incredibly lax attitude people have taken towards parenting in the last 20 years. It's about those of us who choose to discipline our children (or not have children at all) having to sit through dinner with little Johnny screaming at the top of his lungs the whole time because the parent doesn't have the good sense to remove the child. It's about our educators having to tolerate behavior and disrespect that was unimaginable when I was in school. I'm not just talking about infant

Posted on 05/18/2007 at 4:05:00 PM

 
Right On!!!

Posted on 08/07/2006 at 1:08:00 PM

 
I have two teenage sons, one almost 18 and I agree. They do live through our parenting and parenting is completely trial and error - there is no right way to do things.

Posted on 07/27/2006 at 10:07:00 PM

 
I wish Ms. Payton could been around to help me with parenting my children, especialy the youngest !

Posted on 07/27/2006 at 9:07:00 AM

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