Bush Approval Rating Lowest Ever - White House Remains Delusional

(Washington, D.C.) A CNN/USA Today Gallop Poll showed that 49% of Americans said President Bush was a strong President while 49% believed he was a weak leader. White House Press Secretary Dana Perino answered the charge at her afternoon press briefing. "We don't see that as the President being bad at his job as much as he is not good."

Perino then illustrated by example. "I don't like Funions. But does that mean they are bad? In fact, the times I have had a Funion, I have taken a bite and said 'Hum...not bad!' The Presidency is a lot like salty snack foods. Try to get a consensus among Americans if Cheetos or Pringles, which I actually don't consider a salty snack, just going to my point I might add, which is better. But like it or not, both George Bush and salty snacks are here to stay."

The poll also showed that the President's overall approval rating had sunk to 37%, two points below a previous survey. Perino answered the statement with a simple "when it gets to 35 sell." However, after the White House Press Corp was dead silent, Perino modified her answer. "You can't pay attention to polls. Polls can be rigged just like elections. She quickly added "not that this administration would know anything about that."

And the hits just keep coming. The poll showed that Americans now believe that President Bush is mishandling the war on terror. Perino actually cited the survey fact that 60% surveyed believed invading Iraq was not worthwhile, with only 38% saying it was, adding "38%, that's actually 1% better than the President's overall approval rating. That's progress in my book." Perino then mopped her forehead drenched as it was in a Nixon like 1960 Presidential debate sweat.

Perhaps the most damaging survey point was that 50% of those asked said that they disliked the President while 6% came directly out to say that they hated him. Perino rebuffed the claim with "I simply refer you to the aforementioned Funions."