That was Some Month We Just Had Part 4

Playing the field:


In sports, baseball general managers recommended that instant replay be used to help umpires make difficult decisions because baseball games aren't long and drawn out enough, sure, by all means, let's stop and watch the last play a couple of times.

Alex Rodegiz first opted out of his contract with the NY Yankees then he opted back in. So, I guess he'll be playing with the Yankees as their designated Democrat.

All-time home run hitter, Barry Bonds, was indicted by a federal grand jury on perjury and obstruction of justice charges after a four-year investigation into whether he lied under oath about his use of steroids. However the indictment had an asterisk next to it. Authorities became suspicious about Bonds because the asterisk next to his home run record was way too big and had a misshapen head. A spokesman for the steroid industry stated again, "Get away from me, you pencil-necked geek before I punch your heart out."

Organizers of the 2008 Olympics in Beijing, China have included Bibles on their list of "prohibited objects" in the Olympic village where athletes will stay. Responded the Iranian Track & Field team, "Good to hear!" Plans are being made to smuggle the good books inside giant fortune cookies. It sounds strict, but those are the rules. Gee, I sure hope nobody tries to sneak pirated copies of the Bible into China. Wow. Who could have foreseen an atheistic communist country pulling a stunt like that? Fortunately, the Chinese are happy to continue to manufacture Christmas decorations and lights for us. Also banned; the Mongolian synchronized swimming team, steroids with a hint of lead and any toy manufactured in China.

Speaking of which:

Officials ordered "Aqua Dots," a popular Chinese-made children's toy, pulled from the shelves after scientists found it contained a chemical that converts into a powerful "date rape" drug when ingested. Wow, suddenly all those toys we got loaded with lead are starting to look pretty good now. Chinese officials apologized for the mix up, explaining that this chemical was supposed to go in the pet food they make.

Musicians in the news: