Philippine English Sucks

How the Quality of Philippine English Has Declined

"Watch the falling rocks" proudly invite three roadside signs along the highway going down from Upper Balulang to Carmen in this charming northern Mindanao city in the Philippines.

Any normal English-speaking tot in kindergarten would instantly conclude that in the vicinity must be a tourist attraction featuring well, falling rocks. Much as Scotland sightseers scour the water for Nessie, or Yellowstone National Park tourists gawk at "Old Faithful," visitors to this Philippine city would probably expect to be treated to a spectacle-- that of rocks falling.

But wait. There's nothing there but a stretch of highway with sheer cliff on one side and sheer drop on the other. Where's, uh, the spectators area?

As it turns out, there is no tourist attraction there. It's only that English in the Philippines sucks, and the signs are proof of that. What the signs really want to say is "Watch out for falling rocks."

Signs that mangle the English language are common here. A scant ten meters from that offending sign is another which says "Caution. Stockfile ahead" referring to a mound of sand used by a road construction gang doing work on the highway. Visitors need not look far to savor such delicious morsels as "Parking for costumers only," announcing where clients may park their cars. Or "Truck van 6:00 am to 9:00 am," specifying the three hours in the morning when trucks may not use the streets.

Nor is this an isolated phenomenon.

A couple of days after the senatorial elections in May, the country's premier news daily trumpeted "WE FILLED UP FORMS." My jaw dropped as I stared at the unblinking headline. Imagine The New York Times making that kind of mistake! And yet it was there. It was happening. My fingers flew over the pages, hoping this was a direct quote. It was, and it betrayed the ignorance of the school teachers who were quoted saying it. But alas, it was repeated three more times in the same front page story, betraying the ignorance of the reporter and the editor.