My Favorite Christmas Song of All Time

My favorite Christmas song is special to me for a somewhat odd reason. The first time I heard the song was the one and only Christmas I can remember where my father kept a promise to me.

I was small at the time; I'm guessing around four or five since my earliest memories tend to date back to then. My father was in the Air Force and we were stationed away from the only home I'd ever know - - Enid, Oklahoma - - and the grandparents and great grandparents that I adored.

My mother got very sick and had to go to the hospital just before Christmas. Although we didn't talk about it until I was much older, I knew that she had suffered a miscarriage. I overheard her best friend talking about how sad it was to lose a baby anytime, but particularly around the holidays.

My father, who was a chronic alcoholic was no where to be found. It, unfortunately, wasn't unusual for him to go missing for days on end as he drank his way through his paycheck. After I grew older, I found out what else he was probably doing at the same time, which accounted for him not coming home at night.

Mom had her emergency surgery and was doing well by the time my father was finally located. It was one of the few times in my entire life that I would see regret in his eyes. He encircled me in his big, strong arms and held me so tightly that I remember thinking I would burst. At the same time, I never wanted him to let me go again.

Since the weekend was coming up, he took me home and promised to stay with me. We decorated the house for Christmas, making popcorn and construction paper garlands and tinsel that my mother's friend had given me. I thought the tree was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Dad even hung garlands and tinsel around the windows and door, declaring it made the house look more festive.

Dad had a way of taking leftovers out of the refrigerator and turning them into the most delicious meatloaf anyone had ever eaten. With that, he made fried potatoes and the old fashioned kind of hot cocoa made with Hershey's powder. It was a totally delicious meal and, even now, if I close my eyes and concentrate very hard, I can remember how good everything tasted.