Apocalyptic Sugar Cookie Stories

A-peal-ing Failures and Gloria Successes

My mom started us making cookies at seven-years old. With five children in the family cookies didn't last long so we spent a whole day making ten batches or more and then packaging them for the freezer. My dad was a supervisor at Boeing and one of the ways he became everyone's favorite boss was the trays of cookies he brought in to work for all the guys and gals. Chocolate chip cookies weren't good enough at Christmas, you had to have a complete array. So given my forty years of experience as a cookie maker, you'd think everything would go smoothly when I set down to back a few sugar cookies with some interesting twists. I mean, after all, why just make a simple sugar cookie?

Problem 1:Cookie Cutter Calamities

I should have expected that Robert the Blasted Clean, my husband that removes everything that he doesn't use out of the house to have deep-sixed the cookie cutters after the debacle of the missing Thanksgiving lace tablecloths. But woe is me, nary a cookie cutter to be seen. This is after having shopped at Michael's and seen their huge array of everything one can buy. See picture 1.

Tip: If you're teaching young children to bake, the molded cookie trays sold at Michael's may be the ideal solution.

Tip: If you have no other cookie cutter, a glass will make a perfectly acceptable Christmas ornament.

Anyone that has made sugar cookies has run the gamut of sugar cookie problems. You roll out the dough and it sticks to your rolling pin and the counter like the Slime from Another World. You carefully cut the cookie, but it sticks to the cookie cutter. Your cookie cutter cuts perfectly, but when you go to put it on the cookie sheet, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer looks like roadkill. You get the cookie on the tray but after baking it it turns into Hoary the Nearly Headless Snowman.

Tip: Buy plenty of wax paper and roll your cookie dough between the two sheets.

Tip: Use cornstarch on your cookie cutter to ensure a smooth release.

Tip: Cut the cookies out on the wax paper, then turn the cookie over and place the cookie on the tray, peeling the wax paper off.

Tip: Don't roll the cookie dough too thin, make sure it's ¼" or more. ½" is better.