The Great Divorce Wars

“Mom, dad says if it’s okay with you it’s okay with him.” How many of us as parents have heard this from our children? More than likely if you have a child you have been fed this line at one time or another. Kids see this as a great opportunity to divide and conquer the upper management system. This kind of “absent communication,” (you think you’re communicating but you’re really not.) has been prevalent in our families for decades. In today’s society, however, with it’s divorce rate soaring to an all time high our kids have discovered this method and a myriad of others to utilize in getting their way. 

Divide and conquer has been one of the best military strategies of all time. The theory is that if you can get the opposing troops to break ranks you can then infiltrate and conquer them. Children have been wonderful students of this theory, especially in divorced homes. For example; dad lives elsewhere and only sees the kids on the weekend. When he has the kids they tell him how lenient mom is and about all of the wonderful things she does for them. Of course dad can’t be seen as the wet blanket so in order to look good to the kids he gives them more than what he believes his ex-wife is. Problem is, she isn’t really doing all of those things. When the kids go back home to mom and she sees what dad has done she gets angry because he is undermining her authority. So she thinks. Mom is angry, dad is confused and the kids get everything they have ever wanted. Sound familiar? This is a method applied by children everywhere and they are getting away with it.