Reflections on God and Santa

It's Christmastime again - the one time of the year when everyone, Christians and atheists, Democrats and Republicans, even cats and dogs, can put aside their differences and enjoy the same wonderful holiday.

The Christmas spirit has caused me to start thinking about the nature of God - and the nature of Santa Claus. Now I'm sure I'm not the first person to speculate on the relationship between the two, but there are some amazing similarities that have led me to conclude that they are, indeed, the same person. Or, more precisely, I believe that God is the grown-up version of Santa Claus.

Let's start with the obvious physical characteristics. Both God and Santa are portrayed as old men with long white hair and a long white beard. While Santa is a little on the portly side, God apparently watches what he eats. St. Nick, of course, is obliged to down those millions of cookies left out for him, so I'm not judging.

Another striking feature of the two big guys is the way us humans treat them both as, essentially, ATM machines. Kids sit on Santa's lap and reel off a long list of toys that they really, really want, while "prosperity" preachers tell their flocks that God will give them anything they want - a new car, diamond rings, or that big new house. Of course, while Santa gives away his stuff for free, God usually requires that you ante up at least 10% of your income before giving up his stuff to you.

Then, of course, there's the whole reward and punishment system that both employ. While Santa promises presents for good children and threatens bad kids with a lump of coal, God is a little more serious about the whole thing, promising Heaven for those who believe in him and eternal torment in the fiery pits of Hell for those who don't. Stylistic differences, for sure, but essentially the same system.

So what's going on here? Could it be that most of us feel a need to believe in something, so when our childhood belief in a magical being is shattered by the shocking truth that it's just a story, we compensate by changing our belief system to accommodate a different kind of magical being, i.e. God?