Ulcerative Colitis: Being Open with Your Family Can Help You Cope

It was a relief when I was finally diagnosed with colitis, having lived without knowing what my problem was for so many years. Unfortunately, my family has to deal with my constant stomach pains. It is very embarrassing having to "go to the bathroom" all the time, especially after eating just about anything I put into my mouth. Because my two sons have watched me go through my pain for so many years, they are a little more attentive when I "get sick."

Just last week, my husband and I decided to go out to dinner. We ran into some friends, and decided to eat with them. Dinner was nice, and we had just finished our meal, when I started getting my pain. I excused myself to go to the lady's room, when my girlfriend offered to go with me. I was really hoping she wouldn't, because I knew what I had to "do" when I got in there! It seems easier when there are strangers in the bathroom than when it is someone you know. It is so embarrassing! You never really get over that feeling of "shame" when you have to do more than pee in a public bathroom. I am an adult, I shouldn't feel like this, but you can never really control your feelings can you? I made it through the situation, and we chose to ignore that she had to wait for me for a few minutes.

My husband and I were ready to continue our night out alone, and go to the movies. When we got into the car, I had to ask him to take me home instead. There was absolutely no way I was going to be able to sit through a whole movie, and I wasn't about to pay nine dollars to spend most of it in a public bathroom. We ended up renting a movie, and having to continually pause it so I could take "bathroom breaks." I know this is hard for him, but he understands that what I have is an actual disease, and it isn't all in my head. I am lucky that he isn't too picky about spending a lot of time at home, and he is prepared for schedule changes based on my disease. He knows that if it is an important function, I will be very careful of what I eat before we go, so we don't have to leave suddenly. We all scan the place, wherever it is, and know where the bathroom is "just in case."