Kansas City- a Royal Flush

Everybody knew the Kansas City Royals were going to be bad in 2006, but few could have foreseen how truly horrible they have become. In a variation of an old joke, a man watching the Kansas City Royals play says that they perform like a bunch of clowns. When a bystander objects, the man asks him if he is a Kansas City Royals fan. The fellow says no, "I'm a clown". But clowns can make you laugh; the Kansas City Royals have their fans crying in their beer.

At 34-63, the Kansas City Royals have seven fewer wins than even the perennially awful Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Only the Pittsburgh Pirates over in the National League have as close to as poor a record in all of Major League Baseball as the Kansas City Royals do, as they stand at 35-64. At home, amazingly enough, the Kansas City Royals are 21-24, only three games under .500. But it is away from Kauffman Stadium that the Kansas City Royals redefine "missing home cooking", as they are starving to the tune of 13-39, playing at a .250 clip. They have been outscored 574 to 442, and they sport the worst team ERA in the sport at 5.65!

The Kansas City Royals' problem is simple; a complete lack of major league talent, especially at the plate. To prove this point, the Kansas City Royals went into Fenway Park recently and took a 4-0 lead over the Red Sox into the seventh inning of the first of a three game set. They failed to score another run- for the entire series. They coughed up that lead and lost 5-4, then wasted a pair of rare great outing from their starters, losing the next two games by identical 1-0 scores. Boston had not won two back to back 1-0 contests at home since Babe Ruth was pitching for them during World War I!