President Bush's Consultation with Dr. Frank N. Stein

President Bush paced anxiously as he awaited the famous psychiatrist, Dr. Frank N. Stein. Within a few minutes, Dr. Stein entered the Oval office for his emergency consultation with the President. "What seems to be the problem?" asked Dr. Stein. President Bush responded, "I'm having terrible dreams. I have visions of Hillary Clinton all night long. I see her when I'm jogging. I see her when I'm at the ranch. I have even seen her in bed with me. Now that just isn't right. I haven't even told Laura about this." Dr. Stein jotted down this information in his notepad and asked the President to go on. "I need your help, Dr. Stein. What do you make of these dreams, and how can I get rid of them?"

Dr. Stein looked President Bush squarely in the eye and said, "You seem to be suffering from feelings of despair and anxiety. You do not feel adequate and you have serious problems with control. As for being in bed with Hillary, this is most troubling. I believe that you are expressing your need to get back at Bill Clinton by going to bed with his wife." President Bush shook his head in agreement as he listened to the doctor's remarks. "What can I do to end these awful dreams?" asked the President.

Dr. Stein spoke in a commanding tone, "You must gain control over your life and your Presidency. Veto every bill that Congress sends your way. Launch a war against Iran whether a threat exists or not. Place the United States on a constant level of high security alert. Declare yourself King and rewrite the Constitution."

President Bush reacted enthusiastically to these suggestions. "I will implement these ideas at once. Thank you for your advice. By the way, what is the name of the clinic that you work for?" Dr. Stein got out of his chair and closed his notebook. He said, "I work for the Gravestone Sanatorium of course."