Dr. Dethknell, Lord of Death, Auditor and Rest Rooms

Dr. Dethnell is a fictitious character gaining entry to the profession by supreme quackery and chance cure. He treats patients practising quackery with utmost confidence but is lucky to escape their reactions and consequences when results turn adverse. He meets a public auditor Mr. Accounter and there is an interesting conversation giving us fun and entertainment. Here it is.

Dr. Dethknell: You auditors are fortunate. You are not responsible for the life of anyone. So you escape the wrath of the public if anything goes wrong. After all you deal with dead files doing post mortem.

Accounter: Yes that is true. But you diagnose wrongly and treat mercilessly. That is why patients die. Of course they get ultimate relief and are totally free from illness forever. No wonder you are referred to as the Brother of the Lord of Death.

Dr. Dethnell: How do you say that? How can you call doctors so?

Accounter: It is obvious. You treat a patient, fleece and take all his money but entrust his life to the Lord of Death. We know cases, from our experience, where hospitals summon you fully knowing the patient is going to die in a day or two asking you to collect your professional charges. That is why we say you are the brother of the Lord. This explains your relationship with your brother.

Dr. Dethknell: But you are a protected category of professionals. If only you certify that we have passed urine in the past, the authorities will admit us to a public rest room. The authorities will insist on production of such a certificate from us if we have to empty our bladder. By the time the certificate arrives the bladder bursts and we suffer. But you get your fees all right. That is the hold you have on people and the clout you enjoy with the authorities.

Accounter: I admit what you say. . It is our privilege. But it is not as dangerous as your treating such a person diagnosing his non-existing illness as " urinary thrombosis".