Saleisha Wins! America's Next Top Model is RIGGED! a Tale of Sex, Lies, and Basic Math

Didn't anyone ever teach you to count? Because counting is the only skill you really need to figure out that Saleisha will be the winner of America's Next Top Model when Cycle 9 comes to its fabulous end tomorrow night. Okay, okay... I guess I can't expect you to be into stuff like "counting" and "noticing obvious patterns" (after all, you're an ANTM fan.) So let me explain it to you...

Saleisha wins ANTM9 because she's black. It's that simple. Now before you accuse me of being racist (or accuse me of accusing ANTM of being racist), let me remind you that this is all based purely on mathematics. It just happens to be a special kind of mathematics: the mathematics of black women winning ANTM every 3 cycles.

Cycle 3 was won by the edgy (and black) Eva Pigford. Cycle 6 was won by the stunning (and black) Danielle Evans. It only stands to reason that Cycle 9 has to be won by the stereotypical (and blackish) Saleisha Cooper.

Not convinced? Let's look back to Cycle 6. Runner-up Joanie was "CoverGirl of the Week" three different times and won the reward challenge once. Winner Danielle was CoverGirl only twice and never even won a single reward challenge. By all accounts, Joanie had already proven that she was the better model going into the finale. But poor Joanie wasn't black enough to win a cycle that happened to be a multiple of three. Sorry, Joanie, you can't beat the numbers.

And what about Cycle 3? Eva won the reward challenge only once in twelve episodes (way back in episode 4). Compare this to runner-up Yaya, who won the reward challenge a staggering five times--in fact, swept the challenge in episodes 6 through 11 leading up to the finale. Let's set aside the small-but-obvious detail that Yaya is also black; my real point here is to prove that ANTM's producers make their decisions either 1) to surprise their audience, or 2) to fulfill pre-meditated cycle plans... apparently the decisions on the show have nothing to do with actually rewarding the models who perform the best.