Are Attachment Parents Destined for an Enmeshed Family Structure?

Attachment parenting is becoming more and more common in the United States. Even women who typically follow mainstream parenting practices might engage is some behaviors that are more commonly seen in attachment parents (cloth diapering and breastfeeding are examples of behaviors you'd often seen in attachment parents). However, some misconceptions about attachment parenting lead many to assume that attachment parenting is the same as enmeshed parenting or an enmeshed family structure, which is commonly a cause for concern among doctors and psychologists. Thankfully, learning more about what attachment parenting is and how it differs from the enmeshed family structure can alleviate many of these concerns.

Attachment parenting is defined by Attachment Parenting International as "a philosophy based in the practice of nurturing parenting practices that create strong emotional bonds, also known as secure attachment, between the infant and parent(s). This style of parenting encourages responsiveness to the infant or child's emotional needs, and develops trust that their emotional needs will be met. As a result, this strong attachment helps the child develop secure, empathic, peaceful, and enduring relationships." Attachment parents work hard to live natural lives and to meet their children's needs through loving attention.

The actual definition of the word enmeshed, according to dictionary.com, is "to entangle, involve, or catch in or as if in a mesh." When people refer to an enmeshed family or an enmeshed family structure, what they are actually referring to is a family that is over-involved with one another. Enmeshed families don't often differentiate their own needs from the needs of the group. This is often a cause for concern among psychologists and psychiatrists. According to about.com, in families where people aren't seen as individuals by themselves or by the rest of the group, they often act out in unusual ways in order to gain levels of independence. These unusual measures can come in the forms of eating disorders, anxiety, and other mental illnesses or disorders.