My Bachelor Party

A bachelor = "a single man"; A party = "a gathering of people in celebration"; A bachelor-party = "a drunken orgy of wild memories and surreal events never to be discussed in front of the women folk again".

I have been to some pretty crazy bachelor parties in my short lived life, and I have heard the horror stories and bizarre tales from many others. But it wasn't until my very own that I realized what an important ritual it is in every man's life. It is a rite of passage that must be undertaken in order to appreciate the life of a single man. Should a man decide to marry, he must complete this life lesson, a test of sorts, in order to prove he is worthy. A test similar to the critically acclaimed 1994 motion picture starring America's favorite leading son, Kevin Bacon, entitled, The Air Up There. In the movie Kevin's character, Jimmy Dolan, was put to one of these tests of endurance. In the test, he must survive the African tundra and its ruthless elements only to climb the mountain to the East by the forked tree (or something close). On top, he threw his championship ring off as a symbol of his man-hood. In our culture, a bachelor party is much the same trial and a man's life wouldn't be complete without this process. I would like to share with you my journey to the top of the mountain now.

During a bachelor party there will be some nudity, either by one of the attendees or at a strip club. Unfortunately both of these took place at my party; fortunately the only one I was really coherent for was the adventure to see the dancers at a strip club. However, this wasn't some 'upscale gentleman's club in the heart of high class Atlanta'...no, no, no; we went to a 'titty bar in the projects of Hot-lanta'. Mind you there is a very real difference between the two. One major difference is that they weren't dancers or performers, but rather 'hookers in the off season'. The name was something catchy like, "The Mouse Trap" and it was later described as the 'K-Mart of all strip clubs'.