Guide on How to Survive Your Husband's Retirement

The husband of a close friend of mine retired recently, after working for over 35 years at his job.  He is now able to have some much-deserved free time, but he is also driving his wife bonkers.

I've heard many similar complaints from others whose spouses are now spending more time at home due to retiring. The thing that's important for them to realize is that there are some psychological adjustments that will have to be made.

My husband had to retire early due to health-related issues and it took about two years for him to adjust. He went through something akin to a grieving process.

Although women who retire have to adapt as well, we are a lot better at it than most men seem to be, largely because men define themselves by their work. When they are no longer a part of that work, they often struggle to find their identity. 


Make him feel important.

Your newly retired man needs his ego to be bolstered, as no longer being at his job causes him to start questioning his worth.

It's essential to do all you can to make him feel important. Praise is just as important to a man as it is for a woman, especially during this time.

Let him know, often, how much you appreciate his reliability. Tell him you're glad to have him at home now, not just because you can have more time together, but because his being around to help will make your life easier.

When I ask my husband to do some minor repairs or assemble something or pick up something at the store for me, he feels useful. Believing that they have a purpose is fundamental to a man's sense of emotional well-being.

During the times you are together, try to be affectionate to your recently retired mate. Men tend to feel emotionally unanchored as they start this adjustment process.  Their job made them feel important and valued.   Without it, their confidence suffers tremendously.

Give your husband random hugs and unexpected kisses throughout the day. Be sure to tell him how well he did something, or how much you love and depend on him.


Balance your time together by giving each other some space!