A Measure of Faith Part II

How My Level of Faith was Challenged by My Former Toxic Best Friend

By Loraine Smith-Hines, published Dec 16, 2007
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I wrote the article about Faith because of my experience with my former toxic best friend. She often compared my level of faith to her own. It was frustrating for me initially and it took a while for me to make my point to her. She felt that because she grew up going to church every Sunday, her level of faith was certainly greater than mine. In her eyes, I didn't appear to be a faithful person. Of course it didn't matter to me what she thought but I knew if there was going to be any kind of friendship between us, it was necessary to set the record straight. I did just that. She pretended to have all this great spiritual and biblical knowledge but she turned out to be one of the biggest hypocrites out there. She put on a very good act and to this very day most people don't realize how phony she is really is. She certainly did not practice what she preached to me and others.

At any rate, we had many debates about how one should show their faith to God. She eventually had to shut her mouth and stop talking to me about faith because as I reminded her many times, actions speak louder than words.

Here are just a few of the great faith debates with my former toxic friend:

I didn't attend church regularly nor did I take my children. Of course she always felt her children were better than mine (that's another article). As my friendship progressed with her, it was apparent that she did not attend church every Sunday either. Now that was really something. I ended up attending more regularly than her. She even became envious when I got involved with some of the ministries. She made the comment that "I was really getting around the church". At that point in her life she was not serving on any ministries because she had done all of that years ago and she wasn't interested anymore. Where was her great faith, I thought?

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Sadly, it is so true how much people want drama to continue in congregations: read this: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/691197/review_and_story_of_st_paul_lutheran.html Now, I still think they are children of God and only God can know their hearts. It drove me away from that church, though, and I like being with Lutherans a lot of times. I just fit. However, I have to go to an Episcopal church now. There is not another ELCA church in the city where I live. It's been a very hard time because my dad passed away on the night of May 4 and I'm feeling so bad and not surrounded by a community of faith at all. Sadly, I recently saw the building, and they once again have put property as a priority instead of ministry. They never seem to get it.

Posted on 07/21/2008 at 7:07:10 PM

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