Dealing Well with Your Child's Temper Tantrums

We’ve all seen it happen, often to a rushed and harried parent, in the middle of a grocery aisle. The Tantrum. Ick. But, think about what your child is feeling. Out of control, wanting and needing the safety and comfort of your control over the terrifying emotions they are experiencing. You being frazzled does not help your child manage his behaviors, and certainly does not help your child manage stress.

Take a breath. I am not recommending ‘giving in’ to your child’s screaming demands for candy! You will be doing him a disservice, even if you think you are solving the immediate problem. Children need parental control. They need parental control to feel safe and secure, to know that their parents are not going to allow behaviors that harm them, even from themselves.

Generally, children who have been taught to manage their behaviors, including temper tantrums, are happier and more capable of handling many of childhood’s dilemmas. Socially, children have much more common sense than most adults give them credit for. If little Joshua can see that his temper tantrum is not giving him ANY positive benefit, eventually, there is no motivation for tantrums. If your normally sweet, adorable Jason suddenly becomes a devil child, ask yourself: What is going on in his world that makes him need to act out in this way? Is it fear, or hunger? Could he be overtired? Or, is he just tired of being dragged through the shopping mall looking at the latest fashion trends?

A few general anti-tantrum tips are:

Take care of your child’s physical needs before embarking on any outing. Just as you wouldn’t leave the house without your keys, make it a regular routine to ‘feed, water and walk’ your child, so that their physical needs are met, before leaving the house.