Women - Dating Red Flag #1

I think dating advice is sometimes good, and sometimes bad. What I see all too often, though, are columns that deal with deciphering signals, analyzing this or that...and I wonder, why is dating such a....oh, no, I must use the common cliché...why is dating such a game? I mean, when you're an adolescent, that outlook is fine, after all, you shouldn't be too serious about romantic love then anyway, outside of exploration. But as an adult, why aren't articles and columns on the topic reflecting a more adult attitude and approach?

I can only speak from a heterosexual woman's perspective on dating. Perhaps if we shared reminders and experiences among ourselves, we'd all be better off. I'll start, and in fact will do so over a series of articles.

Red Flag number one: you're dating a man, and he conceals the fact that he's dating you. Have you ever been in a situation, for instance, in which the man you are dating speaks often to an ex - be it an ex-girlfriend or wife - and he denies that he is dating you? Maybe she's caught wind of his new love interest; after all, exes often share mutual friends, or perhaps all of you are members of some circle, social or professional. Anyway, you're privy to this information. You question him about why he denies the truth of the situation, and he gives you an excuse about her feelings? Maybe she's "not over him, and he doesn't want to hurt her," or, "she's going through something right now."

Ladies, if I've learned anything, I've learned that a situation like that and the excuses that go with are never valid. Speak the words aloud, as if you are telling them to your most trusted girlfriend, then imagine you're hearing them from someone else. Do you see what I mean? You know the situation is not okay, so do yourself the favor of refusing to be in denial.

If a man shows you an open display of dishonesty, do you believe that he will handle you in another fashion? We'd all like to believe that we're 'different,' or 'special' but really, to him, are we? And is it ok to know that this man is dishonest with another woman, anyway, even if he isn't with us? How do you judge his character?