Verbal and Emotional Abuse: How to Break the Cycle

Verbal and emotional abuses are among the leading causes of poor self-esteem in our young people today. Poor self-esteem can lead children to be underachievers with no real belief in the future. A child that lives with this abuse learns it and will pass it on to future generations. This cycle can and must be broken.

Identifying the cause of the abuse is a major step in learning to break the cycle. Often when we are feeling our lowest is when we do the most harm to our children. Frazzled nerves and frustration are two of the leading times when we are at our lowest points. By learning to recognize the warning signs we can learn to stop the abuse before it happens. Take an objective look at the daily routines and try to pinpoint the stressful times of day. For most, it is getting everyone up and dressed in the mornings and dinnertime in the evenings. Try to find ways to make these times less stressful. A few suggestions would be to have the children lay out their clothes the night before, invest in alarm clocks for older children and teach them to get themselves up and ready for the day. If some of the family requires a bag lunch, try preparing some of it the night before. Instead of yelling at the children to go away while dinner is being prepared, let them help, get them involved in activities that will not only keep them busy, but will be of an assistance to you. Encourage children to be more independent, thereby relying less on you and reducing your level of responsibility.