Dealing with Toddlers and Genital Touching

By Audrey Esposito, published Jul 03, 2005
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Parents who discover their children masturbating are often hit with two distinct emotions.  On the one hand, they want to handle it with a healthy attitude.  On the other hand, it can be a disturbing to see your little one handling his or her genitals.  Both emotions are fine, as long as you understand that genital exploration is a normal developmental stage.Most two-year-olds masturbate.  But it’s important to remember that masturbation in toddlers is not a sexual act.  As far as your child is concerned, it’s just something that is fun to do and feels good. ·Don’t tell them that masturbation is a “dirty” act.·Don’t stop them from safe exploration of their genitals. ·Don’t slap their hands or punish them.·Don’t tell them masturbation is unhealthy or will cause illness.On the other hand, you don’t want your child to show off her new skill in front of the neighbors or at school.  So seize the moment for a little education:·Do tell your child that masturbation should be done in private.·Do try to distract him or her into other activities when company is around.  Whisper a reminder to “take it upstairs”.·Do take the opportunity to teach your children the proper names of their genitals.·Do remind your children that it’s OK to touch their genitals or private parts, but no one else should unless they want them to.You also want to make sure that masturbation remains an occasional past-time and not an all-consuming passion.  There are just some children who always seem to have their hands down their pants.  In that case, don’t go crazy trying to stop them, but ask yourself why it is happening:·Are they bored?·Do they need comfort or security?·Are they in pain?  Sometimes a urinary tract infection or yeast infection can bring on excess masturbation.Stopping a toddler from exploring his or her sexuality is pointless, and probably a battle you won’t be able to win.  Something that is forbidden becomes even more interesting to a two-year-old, and it’s likely that their masturbation “stage” will end a lot sooner if you don’t draw much attention to it.

Takeaways
  • It is normal and harmless for toddler's to masturbate.
  • It is easy to redirect your child when he or she masturbates in public.
  • There are reasons why some children masturbate more than others.
Did You Know?
Almost all children masturbate, but it is not a sexual act in their mind...just something that feels good.
Comments
Showing Comments 1 - 8 of 8
 
 
My 20 month old son WAS a poop-grabber like the previous poster. We did indeed punish/scold him angrily for that for a couple months and that habit has at least lessened some. However, what my son does with his genitals is in no way masterbation. It is nothing less than self-mutilation. He will rip at his penis and scrotum until he is torn up and bleeding all over the place. He has no rashes or signs of infection, but over the past year we have treated him for various ones just in case he was itchy or in pain and that was causing this. Well, nothing ever worked, and no matter how short we keep his nails, he will still mutilate himself at any and every opportunity. Does anyone have any suggestions for THIS situation?

Posted on 07/22/2008 at 7:07:06 PM

 
I need to know what to do about my toddlers touching each other. I get upset and I know thats not the right way to handle it. I could really use some advice. Please write me at 3littlerandalls@earthlink.net.

Posted on 07/30/2007 at 9:07:00 PM

 
While I agree with most of the article I have to disagree with one statement; "it's OK to touch their genitals or private parts, but no one else should unless they want them to." It is not okay for anyone else to touch thier private parts unless it is a doctor while mom and dad are there. You have to be careful about what messages you give a child. They may think it is okay for a child molester to touch them if they have permision from your child, and a molester probably can manipulate a child into giving permision if the child doesn't know any better. They can learn when they are older about sex ed and being with a partner out of choice, or you can tell them that when they are adults things are a little different. No need to get into too much detail at very young ages.

Posted on 02/27/2007 at 3:02:00 PM

 
It's very normal, especially for toddlers. In the same way they discover their hands as babies, they eventually realize they have other parts. I don't mind my son doing it. He isn't trying to be dirty or perverted; he's just being a kid. If he tries to do it while there's poop there, I just move his hand away. I don't see what peeing the bed has to do with genital touching *shrugs* but that's a normal part of parenting a young child, too. Some kids go through a phase where they learn to take their diapers off and want to use that new skill. Why not check on him at night and put it back on...? Put a waterproof covering on his bedding. Easy.

Posted on 01/26/2007 at 7:01:00 PM

 
Im all for letting kids do their business. Parents are too damn uptight.

Posted on 01/26/2007 at 6:01:00 AM

 
yes the article took a load of my mind.I AGREE STOPPING THEM IS A HERCULEAN TASK BUT A DISSAPPROVING LOOK OR AN OCCASIONAL SLAP DOES SEND THE MESSSAGE ACROSS.IT IS USUALLY DONE AT DIAPER CHANGE TIME.

Posted on 11/09/2006 at 7:11:00 AM

 
I can accept that kids masturbate. Yeah, it's natural, whatever. But how about all the extra laundry from my kid peeing everywhere because he can't keep his penis in his pants at night? I can't afford to do laundry every day! And even if I could afford it, I don't have time! How about dealing with him reaching into his poopy diaper to play with himself during naptime? How do I deal with the "dirty acts" that occur because of his "normal" habits?

Posted on 11/01/2006 at 3:11:00 AM

 
god dameeeeeeh

Posted on 07/17/2005 at 5:07:00 AM

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