Does God Have Eyelids? Does He Blink?

I was born into a family of child abuse. To complicate matters further, I was a preacher's kid. My mother, herself a victim of child abuse, had no healthy coping skills. She treated me like she had been treated, and I, a precocious child , gave her ample opportunity to vent her frustration on me.

My life, even after growing up and leaving the parsonage, was filled with crisis, self-destructive behavior, and the inability to reconcile God's alleged love for me with allowing me to be born into a family where I would be severely abused. I had known Jesus as a child, and I had loved Him. I accepted him as my Savior, and to me, that meant He would save me from further abuse. When the abuse didn't stop, I lost faith not in His ability to save, but in His willingness to save me.

Now, after years of Christian recovery, I am convinced that God never blinks.

He placed me where He wanted me. While I don't believe He condoned the abuse, I do know what should have destroyed me, God has turned into a chance for Christian Ministry. In retrospect, I see numerous times where God supernaturally intervened to protect me. He hadn't left me at all.

He brought surrogate mothers into my life at four critical junctures in my life, and they gave me what my birth mother could not. They told me how special I was to them and to God. They pointed out my talents instead of my faults. Because of their encouraging words and dogged persistence in pushing me to be all I could be, I've been able to earn two degrees, become an award-winning poet and writer, and look at myself as a cherished daughter of The Most High God.

Though my parents were loaded with natural talents in the arts, they could not inspire me to be be anything but a failure. God had to provide surrogate parents to give me what my birth parents could not give me.

Even before I was born, God had made provision for me, and as usual, His timing was perfect. In the midst of my own pain, I had lost sight of the sovereignty of God. Fortunately, God remembered that He has all things in His control, and He never lost sight of the plan He had for my life. No, He never blinked.