Crime busters Confidential-Getting Organized Crime to Quit It

The Underworld, Organized Crime, the Mob: for years the government has been trying to rid our country of this terrible plague on our society. Millions of dollars are spent annually in attempts to put the Mob out of business, or at least to get them to curb their dogs. Yet law enforcement agencies have had little or no effect. Why can't they crack this case? Because Organized Crime is a tightly-meshed society which is impossible to infiltrate. Police cannot expect much help from informants or deserters. The Mob is a lot like Time-Warner Books; once you join, you're in for life. 

Getting someone to snitch on the Mob is very difficult, only a few cases come to mind. Getting someone to snitch on the Mob and keeping him alive is harder still, the few cases come to naught. The law does its best to keep informants alive. "To protect someone from assassination," the F.B.I told us, "we provide the informant with a new identity. This includes a new library card, a three-piece suit and a subscription to Time magazine made under their new name." 

But how do the police get informants to come forth and spill their guts while keeping that phrase figurative? Chief Detective Harold Slump of the Springfield P.D. explains, "We use Want-Ads. They are an easy and inexpensive solution. We put ads in all the local papers." 

A typical ad will read: "Wanted - bright, young informant to rat on the Mob. No previous experience necessary. Short hours, good pay. Call 555-8921 between 2 and 6pm." Then they simply wait by the phone. They're still waiting.