Secure Attachment Relationships with Your Child

Depending on the attachment style at birth, it may determine the type of relationship a child may have as a young adult throughout adult hood. There are different styles of attachment which will form the child's ability in later relationships. Secure attachment is an example of when a child is playing with their caregiver and then the caregiver departs from the room, the child exerts distress. When the care giver returns, the child will run towards the caregiver to be held.

"Approximately 60-65% of American babies have secure attachment relationships." (Kail, Cavanaugh, 2007 p. 181) This type of style reminds me of the first day of Pre-Kindergarten or Kindergarten (child is usually between the ages of four and six in the United States). The child is fine with being dropped off in an unknown territory as long as the parent/caregiver is present.

Once the caregiver leaves, the child cries and wishes their parent(s) back. If caregiver returns it is to reassure the child and let him/her know that he/she (caregiver) loves them and that he/she will be picked up later, and be assured that the child will meet new friends that day. In the later years, the child would have less difficulty expressing or accepting for others to get close. This type of behavior during infancy develops the internal working model, which is a child's expectation of a mother/caregiver. If the infant cries, he/she expects the mother to pick him up.

Those children who experience avoidant attachment experience little distress during separation. Those children may turn out to be less likely to express themselves as they venture into adult relationships. When a child clings to his/her parent before a separation and when the parent returns expresses him/her in a hostile manner or by ignoring the parent is insecure attachment. "About 20% of American infants have avoidance attachment relationships." (Kail, Cavanaugh, 2007 p. 182)