My Cyberspace Relationship

Is cyberspace dating for losers and freaks, or a dysfunctional pastime? Or, is it a natural and normal occurrence in this time in which we live?

Unlike face-to-face meetings, in Cyberspace you are what you write. Clues and cues are detected during face-to-face or phone communications. Hearing a person's voice, watching their body language, observing their style of dress and their presentation are beneficial to forming a mental picture of the person we're meeting.

With Cyberspace, it's just letters on the screen, and literally the person is only as good as their words.

If you're preparing to go out on a first-date, you meticulously plan what to wear, how to style your hair and apply your make-up. After all, being with that special someone, in a direct contact situation, may be the most important initial minutes of your life.

On the contrary, your Internet matchmaking profile allows only minutes (or seconds) to make that first initial impression.

One important thing I've learned by experience is that you must train yourself to read and observe carefully when chatting or corresponding on the Internet. Fantasy and computer communication go hand-in-hand. Our minds have a tendency to fill in the gaps, and if you are prone to 'believe' what you read you are at risk in an email romance.

Learn to read on two levels: (1) Enjoy and believe what you read on your screen, but (2) be aware that what he or she proclaims may not be fact or truth. Teach yourself to doubt, and remember that no matter how well the two of you seem to hit it off, this person is still a stranger.