How Important is Sex to a Marriage?

It is commonly thought that sex is more important in a relationship that has not yet matured to marriage than it is once a couple finally ties the knot. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. Sex is an integral part of any marriage because it ensures the healthy expression of love between two people who plan on being together for the rest of their lives.

The problem is that through the course of a thirty-year marriage, sex will not always be on the first line of the priority list. Children, jobs, social engagements, stress, hobbies and other factors will limit the time available for sexual intercourse and will inevitably lessen the frequency with which a couple engages in sexual activity. Keeping sex alive in a marriage is important, however, and can be done.

For a while, I worked as a divorce attorney and I was shocked at the frequency with which couples would admit to not having sex for two years or more. “We just didn’t have time” and “It wasn’t as good as it used to be” were several of the explanations I received, but it baffled me that married couples stop engaging in sex after a certain point. What happens to the fire that exists between newlyweds, and why do couples place sex on the back burner after marriage?

Your marriage is the most important thing in your life, and your partner should be the center of that marriage. You eat meals together, sleep in the same bed, raise children as partners and attend social functions together. So where does sex fit in around that? When sex is not a part of marriage, two people forget why they want to be together, which might be one of the top reasons why so many marriages end in divorce.

It is also true that there will be rocky times in any marriage. Outside the home, couples lead separate lives, and sometimes they fail to share the problems they experience at work and with friends. When those problems extend into married life, sex can be something that neither person wants to engage in. But how else can a married couple keep things together?