Women - Dating Red Flag #6

I wonder why there seems to be a 'no turning back' phase in dating. You know, that point in which you've been dating awhile, have made acquaintance with each other's friends and family, and feel very 'coupled.' You're now an item, so for some reason, you think that if a red flag should arise, it'll be something you're somehow obliged to 'work through.'

I think what far too few of us realize is that this is not so. This is, after all, still the time frame in which we ought not to be so certain...we're still in the building process, after all.

Here is a situation in which I know that I would be inclined to immediately put on the brakes, cut my losses, and go about my merry little way - solo.

So, you've been dating awhile. You're having a nice meal together, and the conversation is flowing...as usual! You have little hearts and singing birds rounding your head. You get the picture. Your talks have begun to take a different turn now; no longer are you so much in the getting-to-know-you basics, but beginning to have those long talks about what you want out of your life, and out of your would-be long-term partner. It's s a veiled feeling-each-other-out game of "are we right for each other?"

Your heart is doing a sweet little tap-dance in your chest, all the while one of you says, "you know what I want?" or, "I think that..." (fill in the random question and answer here) and the other, after hearing whatever random desire or thought, gleefully responds, "Me too!"

Then it happens, he says that one thing that sounds fairly subtle (because we hear this all of the time - even from advice columnists!) that should indeed sound the sirens in your head. The comment of doom is some version of:

"I think that men should help with the kids more."

Excuse me? This is tantamount to when you hear a man refer to not being able to watch the game at his buddy's house because his wife has some obligation and he has to stay home and "baby-sit the kids." Hello, pal...they're YOUR kids. You don't "baby-sit" your own kids, just like you don't "help with" your own kids.