The Top Ten Hottest Selling Products on the Internet

So you're sick and tired of the joke about you...you know...the one that asks why you cross the road? Punchline: To get the penny on the other side. It seems like everybody else is making dollars online while you are just getting the pennies they happen to drop in the gutter.

You crawl on your belly to retrieve them, but you keep getting mud, grease and sludge all over your lily-white tighty-whiteys.

That's how I feel when I am attempting to make money on the Internet. So I asked myself: Self, what are the hottest selling products on the web? I may as well try to sell those--and hopefully, bucko bucks will follow.

Here is a list of the top-sellers at Ebay.com:

1. Texas Instruments Graphing Calculator TI-89. O-K...I can see why this item would be number one. Who needs an Ipod or a Lindsey Lohan gold-plated nose ring when you can have one of these babies!

2. Texas Instruments Graphing Calculator TI-83 Plus. Wow, graphing calculators take up the top-two rankings on our illustrious list here. Obviously there are a lot of soccer moms studying calculus these days. High fashion and beauty products are simply out of vogue. Good to know.

3. Baseball Trading Cards--Pre 1930. Yeah, OK. Those are fine--but wouldn't you rather have a graphic calculator?

4. One Touch Diabetes Test Strips. And here I thought Tylenol was the top-seller in this category. Amazing! They should change the expression "too many headaches" to "too little blood sugar."

5. Microsoft Office 2003. But it's almost 2008!

6. Dish Network Satellite TV Receiver. Yeah, I can see why this item is hot: a lot of folks in New Orleans lost theirs during a hurricane.

7. Logictech Harmony. Now this is a handy remote control device. Use it to shut off your TV, your Xbox, and your ex-wife.

8. Sony DVD-RW. Well, how can you get through life without a Sony DVD-RW? I tried it once, but failed miserably.

9. Civil War Tokens.

10. Yamaha Saxophone.