New Year's Resolutions: How to Break Bad Habits with a Paper Wristband

One aspect of my depression is intensification of Imposter Syndrome. As my mood goes down, I lose confidence in myself and my abilities (sometimes for a few hours, sometimes for days). Frequently, I'll voice the feeling aloud by saying "Oh no, I'm a loser" or something equally silly (but surprisingly convincing in my depressed state).

Negative reinforcement certainly doesn't help matters. It's a bad habit that I really want to break. So I came up with the idea of making an accountability wristband.I cut a strip of plain paper and taped it into a wristband--big enough to get over my hand, but small enough that it doesn't fall off whenever I shake my wrist. If I voice a negative thought about myself like "I'm a loser" or "I'll never succeed," I make a black mark on the band.*

It would have been easy to say "Now I can't get any black marks today." But that's not very productive. It's setting myself up to feel like a loser and a failure if I get a simple bad mark.

Instead, I decided to start by limited the number of black marks I can get every day. I thought 10 would be a good number to start off with. Then it'll move down to 7, 5, 3, and hopefully I'll be able to stop. (Actually, I haven't voiced a single one since I started wearing the band about 5 days ago, but I'm still allowing myself to do so.) If you don't make any black marks, you get to wear the wristband another day.

I don't count my negative thoughts unless they become an obsessive internal monologue. Talking about feelings can be much worse for negative reinforcement than just thinking things.

I like magic markers because they're much more likely to work than pens (which sometimes get a little dry). If you need to take off the wristband to go to work, consider making marks on your arm using a pen or marker (something not too hard to wash off) in the interim.

The system works well for most bad habits---nailbiting, nose picking, snacking on candy (you might not want to give yourself 10 chances at the start, though, unless you're doing much more), etc.

You can also use it for positive New Year's resolutions. Like if you want to smile at 10 strangers a day, start noting it on your wristband.