"The Macho Man" Randy Savage VS. Chandler from Friends: Super Fantasy Deathmatch

In the first epic installment of Super Fantasy Deathmatch, I analyzed the classic struggle between Mario and Santa Claus. This time we'll change gears and toss a couple of all-too-real competitors into our internet-based steel cage. You've been losing sleep over this one, so let's settle it once and for all: "The Macho Man" Randy Savage versus Chandler from the hit TV show Friends.

Fashion Sense
The Macho Man (or "Mach'", as he's known to his buddies) wears sparkly spandex pants and six-pack-exposing t-shirts with crudely fringed sleeves. He's also been known to wear some pretty outrageous goggles and sunglasses. Chandler wears sweater vests and other staples of a late-90s business-casual wardrobe. Chandler would win at a job interview, but Savage's attire is much more appropriate for the kind of bloody, to-the-death brawl we're talking about here.
Winner: "The Macho Man" Randy Savage

Hair
Chandler has pretty good hair. It's somewhat unremarkable, but never outright bad. And in certain "flashback"-type episodes of Friends, Chandler can be seen sporting a Flock of Seagulls-style masterpiece atop his head. Say what you will about the Flock; this hairstyle is totally badass, and extremely tough in its own special way--a sensitive, borderline-gay sort of way. Randy Savage, on the other hand, has a total of three long hairs remaining on his head. To make matters more pathetic, these three strands are always slicked together into some disgusting tangle with what I can only assume is extra-spicy Slim Jim grease. To be taken seriously (and ultimately restored to his former glory) the Macho Man needs to shave off the last of his sad-looking hairs. They are only holding him back and making him look (and smell) like that one homeless guy who tried to sell me a single cigarette on the subway in Mexico City.
Winner: Chandler