Two Fine Accomplishments by George W. Bush: Dry Wells and Rich Arabs

It is good to be George W. Bush. People give you money to help you out even after you've proven you have the reverse Midas Touch in which every gold you touch turns to lead. (Proof that an MBA from an Ivy League school isn't worth the paper it's printed on in the cases of legacies with a C-average who couldn't even have gotten into FSU without their daddy's money.) Shortly after going AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard, George W. Bush pretended he was a Daniel Day Lewis character and headed to Texas to make his own independent fortune in the oil business. Hell, it was the 70s and them dang A-rabs were charging an outrageous fortune for their oil, making everybody look to America for cheaper black gold and Texas tea. It would take a truly incompetent boob not to make money in oil in Texas during the 70s...oh, that's right. Using $20,000 of his own inheritance, George W. Bush drilled into the hard Texas soil and continually came up dry. Something like that would normally keep investors at bay, but for good ol' Georgie Boy. Dubya duped about fifty people into investing into the unfortunately named Arbusto and between them they sunk almost 5 million dollars into the lead zeppelin that was George W. Bush's little oil company.