Realistic Expectations in Family Court

It is rare for any person to come out of family court entirely pleased with the outcome. Unfortunately people go into court thinking that the court is going to right all the wrongs of the past. That they will be validated, vindicated, and get what they are asking the court to award them.

This is not the case. The court rarely cares who treated who badly. The court does not care who had their feelings hurt, or who is a nice person. The court is a place of business, the business being law and order.

When litigants, represented or otherwise, understand that the court doesn't care about all of the petty things, they are in a much better place to understand what the court DOES care about and thereby can realistically predict what their probable outcomes from court will be. Realistic expectations can make the entire court process more palatable. They can help define strategy, define what a litigant is requesting from the court, and ensure an outcome the litigant is prepared for.

Litigants, far too often, rush to court armed only with the fact that the opposing party has wronged them. Little thought is put into the process of court, the possible outcomes of court, how the action affects the case on the long term, what are the strategic benefits of filing now? Litigants only want to show how the other side is wrong. Emotion, not analytical thought drives the process much of the time.

Emotion has no place in the court process, even when one is self represented. Family court should be approached in the same analytical manner that any other issue would be.

Identify the problem, determine all possible solutions to the problem, identify the possible positive and negative consequences of each possible solution, assess risk vs. gain for each possible solution, assess what information or tools are needed to fulfill the process of each possible solution, and reconcile how each possible solution serves the purpose of meeting the already established long term goals.