Sex Life After Children

Is it Possible

My husband and I had sex yesterday. You might wonder why that is noteworthy, until you learn that we also have two girls, ages 4 and 1. 

“Aha!” you say. “The surprise is that they had sex at all.” 

One of the most common concerns in the first year after having a baby is the frequency of having sex. How to have sex after children is one of the more frequent pieces of advice handed out by relationship experts, friends, pastors, and well-meaning relatives. 

So many times this advice is confusing and contradictory itself. You need to set up a date night once a week from the beginning ,says one. Resentment sets in, then, when one parent, usually the mother, feels that leaving a newborn baby for hours is too difficult and interferes with the breastfeeding relationship. Set a schedule for having sex and adhere to it, trumpets another. That sounds good, but can also set up resentment again when one or other of the partners is extra tired and doesn’t feel well; or if the baby is having a bad day and not complying with the schedule.