Starting Over

Now I don't know where to turn

One way is cold, lonely, stagnant,
comfortably sad

The other heated but frenzied--

a mess of shame, bliss, sorrow, worry and adrenaline

I want to hold you so bad my eyes ache

My tears suffocate me, infuriate me

I have never been so in love
and so ashamed

And how I hope, wish and pray
you understood.