Happy 2008! or Happy 2008?

Someone asked me this New Year's Eve (Or to be accurate, I guess I should correctly say last New Year's Eve. We haven't had New Year's Eve 2008 yet.) what my resolution was? Maybe it was one too many Ketel One Koolers, but I said "not to die."

Can you tell I possess a cheery optimism? As is exhibited by the follow-up from said above person after hearing the answer to question one, "Boy, aren't you a ray of sunshine!" I think it was that, because the DJ was cranking the 89th house mix of "I Want Candy." So, it could have been that or "Why don't you drink a glass of turpentine." Since the sentiment of both statements is pretty much the same, I choose the more positive. See, I'm not that much of a pessimist. But I digress. What was my point? It seems that my memory along with my 38-waist size was left behind in 2007.

Oh...the answer to the question posed to me by said person. It has to do with my philosophy on life. I don't see the glass as half empty or half full. I see the glass as broken on the floor with shards of tiny glass embedded in my carpet that I'll never be able to get out no matter how hard I try. And months later, I will be walking barefoot on my carpet, and a shard will stick in my foot. It being dirty, I will get an infection. And this will start a long process of amputation to preserve my quality of life only to end me up in a bed jealous of Richard Dreyfus's character's lot in "Whose Life Is It Anyway?" But here's the Kevorkian cocktail nightcap. The woman I put this to on New Year's Eve still wanted me to buy her a drink? Who says love is dead?

Let me be clear. My kicking off has nothing to do with the "to die to sleep" bit. Will I know or won't I? The thing about avoiding the potential 365 days (and this year we get one extra) of tragedy is that while I may others I care about may not, and THAT'S the killer. Yes, I must pun. And the older I get and avoid the Big Sleep the more the people I have cared about who have not. I don't believe in survivor guilt, unless it's Tina feeling it when she stole the million bucks away from Colby because of his misdirected, bonehead loyalty. (I see a few fans out there nodding knowingly.)