How Do the "Good Girls" Get Caught Up in Abusive Relationships?

She is smart, pretty, and everyone always told her she would grow up and do big things - maybe even be president!

But one day, she wakes up besides a man, touches her sore jaw, and realizes that she is caught up in an abusive relationship, a cycle that she is not yet strong enough to confront. How does this happen to the Prom Queen? The Valedictorian? The scholar athlete? The future CEO?

She was Abused as a Child

Some women are like planted seeds in that they grow out of dirt into beautiful, exquisite flowers that everyone admires. No one even notices the dirt--the childhood anguish that she may have been raised in. Maybe her mother was abused. Maybe her parents abused her. Maybe she was touched inappropriately by a family member.

The inner insecurities that she hides within come to the forefront when she meets a man who seems nice at first and then begins displaying those same abusive behaviors she observed or was victim of as a child. She already believes that this type of action is normal and settles right back into familiar territory. Before she knows it, she is completely caught up in an abusive cycle that she finds almost impossible to break.

Actively Pursued by Bad Boys--and Brainwashed

Bad boys, or better yet abusers, can spot a good girl from a mile away. In fact, they actively pursue them. They hate anything that is bright, shining, and positive. They want to conquer that positivity, and take away a good girl's sunshine. Misery loves company. An abuser's goal is to woo a good girl, and then eventually bring her into his own misery so that he will feel better about himself. His own childhood insecurities have made him into the person he is today.

There is a brainwashing technique that is put into play here, where the abuser is nice, then mean, then nice again, effectively confusing his prey. He's nice most of the time, so she begins to think he's not all that bad. Once the foundation is laid, it is hard to break ground again. Things only get worse from there.

Shame