Romantic Ideas for when You Have a Chronic Illness

"Hot and bothered!" For most people these words create images of being twisted up in sheets, breathlessly reaching out to the one you love. For those with chronic illness, however, "hot" is more likely to refer to one's thyroid condition, night sweats, or a heating pad on high. "Bothered. . ." Well, let's just say when your body aches, everything makes you feel bothered: a cat that won't move off your leg, a joint that continues to throb, and a spouse that is able to snore through minor earthquakes. It can be hard to be romantic!

Nearly 1 in 2 people live with a chronic illness in the U.S. which means that a lot of marriages are disrupted by this uninvited third party of illness, often including mental illness as well. Seventy-five percent of them end in divorce. Romantic ideas don't have to be used just on Valentine's Day.

So! How are some ways to get the spark back? Here are some creative romantic gift ideas and ways to say, "I love you."

If YOU have the chronic illness:

1. Make an effort. Stop with the excuses. "I'm tired, I don't feel good. I am in so much pain." I've said them all. Guess what? You'll probably always be tired. Put on some music, sit back and relax. You're in pain? If you can push past some of the pain you'll soon be distracted and forget at least a good part of it.

2. Make romance a priority. That means not spending the whole Saturday cleaning your house and then being exhausted. Rest up, even if it's just so you can have a conversation without falling asleep.

3. Be enthusiastic during your romantic evening. Even if you're just going out for dinner, don't say, "I'm doing this just for you. I don't really feel like it." (Oh, yeah, that will turn him on.) Smile and talk about pleasant memories or dreams you have. Promise yourself not to talk about your illness for just one night.

4. You don't have to write romantic love poems. Just put together a mini-album of your favorite photos and include notes about your memories and how much he means to you.