Ramblings on the Past

when i look at you i see so much. i really wish you could know. i feel stuck in between so many things.
just, things.

there's a certain way that you turn your face. the light catches. it makes a special angle - a strong authoritative line. it comes back, over and over, when i sleep. when i want it to go away. when i'm awake.

i am imperfect. i am lost, with you. with you, i am lost.

i can't keep the words inside my mouth.

there are pictures that catch it - the angle you make. you make pictures that make you beautiful. they catch what i see. they see what i see in the moments when you aren't looking. they happen in splits of seconds.

a few girls have seen it. prior to me and during. it's in their eye.

they have not held you when you are crying. they have not ripped their fingers through your hair in passion. they have not broken down in your arms. they have not been so vulnerable.

i thought i buried you inside my suitcase.

there's an intensity about you - and i understand it. you have it deep - running through your veins in blue-black blood. and you - you should be so proud.

i know what i found. we were in love.

... you had to be free. free.

i had to be free. free.

there's no way i could know that, one day, i was going to get caught up in a mess. i thought it was big enough to make it through. i thought all i was was enough. i thought knowing meant really knowing.

i thought i was big enough - that it was big enough. we had to be free.

we were in love.