House Rules for Your NFL Super Bowl Party
January 14, 2008 by
Super Bowl Sunday is a sacred day to an NFL football fan. There are certain rules that one must abide by if they are to enter your home on this day of football importance. If they are not willing to abide by the rules, then I suggest removing them well before kick off
so that you do not miss a moment. Post the following rules for Super Bowl Sunday on the front door on Sunday morning so that proper notice is given.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 1 - No one is allowed to cross the threshold of this house without a proper serving (meaning more than we will ever eat) of something with loads of fat, tons of cheese, and some type of dipping sauce. Appropriate beverages are accepted in leiu of this rule.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 2 - Any individual with complete ignorance of the game will need to sit in the back of the room, and stay quiet except during commercials. If you must speak, then make sure it is in the kitchen away from the ears of NFL football fans.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 3 - Nobody touches the big screen except for me. Period. This includes the remote which will be appropriately hidden from all greasy fingers.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 4 - If you are a Patriots fan, you must wear a muzzle and keep all Patriot symbols covered in my home. This includes shirts, hats, and tattoos no matter where they are located.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 5 - If you cross the line of vision in front of the television set, expect to be pelted with any and all food items available.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 6 - Touchdowns are to be celebrated as a group. You will participate in the wave, so limber up your knees before coming.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 7 - Snack runs must be done by the people that know the game the least. If you do not know what a cover two defense is, I hope you can serve a great taco.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 8 - Feel free to express yourself freely as long as it does not walk all over my team. This is not a democracy here, and they are my rules right?
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 9 - Nobody leaves early. Nobody.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 1 - No one is allowed to cross the threshold of this house without a proper serving (meaning more than we will ever eat) of something with loads of fat, tons of cheese, and some type of dipping sauce. Appropriate beverages are accepted in leiu of this rule.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 2 - Any individual with complete ignorance of the game will need to sit in the back of the room, and stay quiet except during commercials. If you must speak, then make sure it is in the kitchen away from the ears of NFL football fans.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 3 - Nobody touches the big screen except for me. Period. This includes the remote which will be appropriately hidden from all greasy fingers.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 4 - If you are a Patriots fan, you must wear a muzzle and keep all Patriot symbols covered in my home. This includes shirts, hats, and tattoos no matter where they are located.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 5 - If you cross the line of vision in front of the television set, expect to be pelted with any and all food items available.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 6 - Touchdowns are to be celebrated as a group. You will participate in the wave, so limber up your knees before coming.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 7 - Snack runs must be done by the people that know the game the least. If you do not know what a cover two defense is, I hope you can serve a great taco.
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 8 - Feel free to express yourself freely as long as it does not walk all over my team. This is not a democracy here, and they are my rules right?
NFL Super Bowl Sunday Rule Number 9 - Nobody leaves early. Nobody.
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