The Pain of a Fatherless Daughter

My 10 year old daughter and 10 year old nephew were speaking amongst themselves one evening. The topic: New Years resolutions, or New Years promises as they worded it. My nephew's resolution was to win at a karate tournament. My daughter's resolution: to never speak to her dad again.

A statement like that from a 10 year old would normally bring about some grade of shock to its listeners. That is not the case here.

On January 07 my daughter turned 10, and although she does not hear or see much of her dad, he usually phones her and asks what she would like for her birthday. With much delight she usually runs down a twenty item list of hopeful items, of which her dad would purchase none. This year she would not receive that phone call. After days of confusion and hurt, she decided that since her dad is so mean to her she will no longer be speaking to him.

December 23, 2007 my daughter and I run into her dad, who was accompanied by his girlfriend of eight years and their three year old son, at a local store. We were both out finishing our Christmas shopping when our chance encounter occurred. Excited, my daughter runs over to her dad, gives him a hug and a kiss, and all the words he could muster up was "Hi!" My daughter then returned to my side as we continued to shop.

July 4, 2007 was the last time my daughter saw her dad previous to December 23, 2007. No, he did not telephone for her to make a visit with him or to spend the holiday together. This date just so happens to be the birth date of a cousin of hers, her dad's nephew. Despite the fact that he was not there for her, she had a great time being in his company.

For several years now, eight to be exact, my daughter has been the victim of constant neglect on behalf of her father. My daughter has a disease known as sickle cell anemia. Sickle cell anemia is a terminal illness, incurable. She has been hospitalized so many times and has had so many blood transfusions that eventually I lost count. She has even come close to death. And where was her father for all of these hospital stays? He was nowhere to be found.