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Online Forum Etiquette: How to Deal with a Forum Bully

Online Forum Etiquette: How to Deal with a Forum Bully

January 23, 2008 by
Will Wright  
Will Wright
Will Wright
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Forum Etiquette  |  School Bully  |  Troll  |  Forum  |  Bully  |  Office Etiquette
If you've ever spent any time in an online forum, you've undoubtedly encountered certain individuals who abuse their status within the forum. I'm not talking about forum trolls. They're easy to spot - and just as easy to dismiss. But rather, a different kind of malicious entity - the
 forum bully.

The Nature of Forums
Online forums are no different than any other group formed by people throughout human history. There are leaders, followers, outsiders. For convenience, you can look at a forum as kingdom. There's usually a king and a queen, a prince and princess, court jesters, members of the nobility, wise old advisors and outsiders. While an online forum is a trivial kingdom, remember that people defend their kingdoms, no matter how small. It could be an office, a playground, a seat at the table, or a forum.

Troll or Bully?
In many ways, I have more respect for a troll than a forum bully. At least a troll is direct. If you pick up a snake, and it bites you, whose fault is that? The snake was just doing what it does. It's the same with trolls. Their intentions are obvious - they're in the forum to disrupt and cause trouble. They arrive with all the subtlety of a jet on a landing strip.

Forum bullies are harder to spot. They disguise their intentions. But make no mistake. When you encounter one, you will know - because their bite is equally malicious and just as full of venom.

What is a Forum Bully?
A forum bully is school ground throwback. Remember that middle school bully with his pathetic little band of sycophantic followers? That's a forum bully. In ways the forum bully is just a pseudonym for a troll, but with a major difference. While the troll's behavior is condemned by the group, the forum bully's actions are condoned by the group. Established members of the group, who don't agree with the forum bully, usually remain quiet while the bully tears apart people just for sport and as a demonstration of power within the forum.

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Will Wright
Written by Will Wright
I'm a film industry veteran with over a hundred professional credits. Currently pursuing an MFA in screenwriting because everyone needs wall full of worthless college degrees.  -  Full profile
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Related information
TakeawaysDid You Know
  • Forum bullies are typically intelligent.
  • Every forum has its own forum etiquette.
  • The typical forum bully M.O. is to mix attacks with helpfulness.
 
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Great article. I am starting a blog called 'The Forum Zoo' http://www.theforumzoo.com and am inviting all those talented in analysing and reporting back on forum behavior ((or who have had bad/good experiences to contribute and I'd be very grateful if you would. If you wish to contribute with original content or this content here (with full links back your own site, author bio etc, so you get full credit, please do. If you wish to contct me re the above, please do so at leah@painfreemarketing.co.uk Thanks Leah
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Posted on 10/01/2009 at 12:10:53 PM

Thanks for this article. I'm having a hell of a time with a 'troll' and his 'yes women' on a UK forum. They are harassing me personally, slandering my name and my business, have threatened me etc etc. The moderator is unfortunately a lawyer and is refusing to help remove the thread so there is absolutely nothing I can do. The worst thing I did...I used my real name. BIG mistake. I've learned a lot from this.
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Posted on 09/22/2009 at 7:09:32 AM

what a FANTASTIC article! You are so on the money with this Will. Thank you for helping me understand the headspace of the cyber-bully.
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Posted on 08/19/2009 at 8:08:13 PM

Thanks for the article. More or less my story echo's that of 'Ms Despairing'. The trouble is that when you defend yourself, people just join in (Older member's) and also act like it's never happened to them! When questioned they always play the 'It's a forum card'? Trouble is these people are tolerated by the Moderator's! After all it's easy to be militant over a screen! MANY THANKS TO ALL
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Posted on 07/27/2009 at 6:07:27 AM

Thanks for the excellent article Will. This has just happened to me on believe it or not an anti bullying forum and it has happened exactly as you describe. I have now left that forum.
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Posted on 07/16/2009 at 8:07:03 AM

EXCELLENT ARTICLE. I (along with several others), have had to deal with a bully on the TDO forums for over a year. If you want to see a shining example of a Forum Bully, go to the Tallahassee Democrat online forums (primarily the National/International forum) - http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=PluckForum&plckForumPage=Forum&plckForumId=Cat%3a455cc906-72a5-48c2-9f6d-5c7475f7d0f8Forum%3a44074d7a-e59c-4cda-bb3b-70b79931ed95). It won't take you long to figure out who our resident bully is (hint: his online name is a combination of "Mark" and "Levin"). He is absolutely ruthless as well as being completely delusional! He has already been accused of being a paid troll and I wouldn't doubt it for one minute! You only need to read one of the threads that Markle has participated on to realize what his game is and how he repeats the same rhetoric over and over again on different posts. He is truly pathetic.
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Posted on 06/08/2009 at 12:06:32 PM

you can reason with them. As the papers show that people are shot every day, you can't reason with trolls!
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Posted on 05/28/2009 at 8:05:27 AM

One thing I have to emphasize about the internet, is NEVER EVER EVER reveal personal information about yourself-- online, you are just the letters on the screen, nothing more. I made the mistake of revealing my real name on a forum once, and now even years later after I've changed my sn, they still condescendingly address me by my first (and last) name, while conveniently hiding behind screen-names which obviously aren't theirs (like HonestAbe etc). Basically you are giving up your privacy WHENEVER you reveal anything personal about yourself, that the internet bullies (actually on the internet they're called "trolls") can use against you anytime-- and they NEVER let up. I have about 100 users on my "ignore" list, from one forum alone, because the continue to broadast and slander my real name with every response-- YEARS after I made the mistake of revealing it, thinking that I could reason with such people. When you do that, it's like giving a gun to everyone you meet, thinking that
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Posted on 05/28/2009 at 8:05:24 AM

Sorry for the first post, I messed up. I have been the target of a forum bully for 3 years! She is relentless, she has been to my home and vandalized my property, she knows where I live! She is full on obsessed with me. Why? Because I said something about God one day, she is an admitted wiccan. I have made so many mistakes in dealing with this witch. She is exactly the way this article says, very intelligent, head of the circle and has many many followers. I can comment on something in a way that most everyone would comment and she will blast me and nicely agree with those in her circle. If I say, It looks like it is going to rain today, she will use HUGE words basically to say how stupid I am, of course it is raining, but up north! It is funny at times, but also very draining. To see so many people, smart people that are so afraid to stand up to her is amazing. I still battle with her all of the time, but now I look bad to any outsiders, not her. Good article by the way!
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Posted on 03/28/2009 at 9:03:50 AM

There is a
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Posted on 03/28/2009 at 8:03:34 AM

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