Not Just Any Type of Mother - Parenting Your Step Children and Adopted Children

I knew, at the early age of sixteen, that the only way I would ever have children was through adoption. The funny part of that is, when I was growing up, all I ever wanted to be was a mother. Not just any type of mother, but one exactly like my own mother.

I waited a long time to find my husband and, sure enough, I instantly became the step mom of two boys. Michael was 17 at the time and hurting. He wasn’t ready to deal with his relationship with his father, much less a new step mom. Justyn was your typical 13 year old.

Two years later, there was a knock on our door at 4:00am and there stood Michael, tears pouring down his face after an argument with his mother. He later told me he prayed we would take him in, but was unsure because of his previous behavior. I loved him from the start and wanted to kill him at the same time. I often told him I was throwing away the computer, dictionaries, and encyclopedias because he knew everything. But I refused to give up on him.

Now, five years later … he is my son and I am his Mom. I look at his face and I see a healed young man. One who has a heart bigger than his body and who is kind, compassionate, honest and now knows how to love. Giving birth to him couldn’t have made me any more his mother.

Not too long ago, Michael and I had words. We were both crying … My words to him were ones I think about often. “Michael, I don’t know why God let someone else give birth to you … I only know, I wish you had been my boy when you were little. I wish I could have spoiled you with trips to McDonald’s, and Popsicles when you felt badly, and presents for no reason, and late nights wrapped in my arms. But he didn‘t and now all I can do is love you and yes, be your mom.”