Valentine's Day Riddles and 3 Twisted Fairytales

Valentine's Day Riddles

Why did Cupid get drunk on Valentine's Day?
Because he wanted to Psyche himself up.

Why did the Roses cross the road?
Because the chicken kept hitting on her.

Why did the husband poison his wife on Valentine's Day?
Because the poison expired on February 15th

What did the condom say to the bottle of wine?.
I don't know about you, but boy am I full

Why did Cupid punch the Leprachaun?
To prove that love can triumph over luck.

What is red and black, and weighs two hundred pounds?
A woman wearing the red and black lingerie that her husband had given her, and the two-hundred pound elephant is the resentment she feels that he does not know that she hates getting lingerie for Valentine's Day.

Why did the wife run down the chicken?
She was all out of chicken jokes.

3 Twisted Fairytales for Valentine's Day

Jeffery Googles For Love

There once was a guy name Jeffery who was a cheapskate but liked to call himself frugal. At thirty-five, Jeffery decided that he needed to get married. He search the land far and wide but did not find the girl of his dreams. So Jeffery decided to do a Google search. In the search tool bar, Jeffery wrote "Cheapskate looking for Pretty Cheap Girl."1 million, five-hundred thousand, and two-hundred and thirty-four web pages came up. Jeffery decided that was too many, deleted what he wrote, instead he put, "Cheapskate but like to 'refer to himself as frugal ' Guy looking for his Soulmate." Two-hundred and fifty-thousand web pages came up, Jeffery looked through a few, but all proved to be not what he was looking for. Jeffery tried again, he wrote "Will Pay For Sex and Companionship." Eurika. Jeffery meets and marries a woman named Olga who seem to appreciate the value of a dollar.

It seems that even cheapskates have a price

Jane's Too Literal