The Jollyless Green Giant

The Jolly Green Giant hasn't been feeling so jolly these days. His smiling face has disappeared. These are some of the reasons that the Green Giant has been gloomy:

1. "It's not easy being green." The green-skinned giant has become sensitive to his green color.

2. The Green Giant is lonely. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a girlfriend?"

3. The Green Giant wants to eat meat. "I'm sick and tired of being a vegetarian."

4. The Green Giant no longer wants to wear a tunic and wreath. "I want to look stylish. There is no Big and Tall Giant's Clothing Store around."

5. The Green Giant is tired of saying, "ho,ho,ho." "It is no laughing matter to be big and green."

6 "I'm tired of people confusing me with the Incredible Hulk."

7. It's difficult to find a home for a giant that is affordable. "I simply don't have enough green cash."

8. "I'm tired of hearing the rumors that the Jolly Green Giant peas in his pants. I don't even wear pants."

9. "I don't want to wear these green boots any longer. I want to wear some comfortable sandals."

10.The Green Giant wants to be the next American Idol. "I'll squash the competition. I expect the judges to give me the green thumbs up. I intend to sing the song "Green Eyed Lady."