The Male Midlife Crisis

Look Out! This Can Be Dangerous!

Ladies: has your 35-50 year-old man suddenly begun acting even more weirdly than he usually does? Has he hatched plans for giving up his sales job, taking all your savings and going to South America to find a cure for cancer? Or has he shaved his head, bought a surfboard and acquired an 18-year old girlfriend? Or - nothing that extreme, but it seems like you're always fighting, he's wearing shorts in the winter, he's just not himself. He may even ask for a divorce. Hang on, girls, your beloved may be having a midlife crisis, otherwise known as "male menopause."

If you ask him what's wrong, you will not be enlightened by his replies (if there are any). He might say he doesn't know, or that he's just not satisfied with his life; now that the kids are grown he wants to toss the 6 passenger vehicle or the 9 passenger van and buy a sports car, or any number of other like "explanations." He doesn't know what's wrong, he just feels different, and only some big dramatic change can fix it. And you're supposed to go along with this, indeed you're expected to support his plans however they may disrupt your life.

If he would, or could, tell you what's wrong, you might be able to trace this odd behavior back to a time when he stood in front of a mirror and thought: "I'm 40 (or 45 or 55) and my time is limited. Eventually I'll die, but have I really lived? There's so many things I want to try, to do..." And he decides right there and then that he'll start, right now, he won't let another day slip by without catching up. The next thing you know, he's bought a hairpiece that looks like road kill on him, and signed up at the gym. Make no mistake, this is serious - 80% of suicides are men, and the rate at midlife is three times higher. It's a major turning point in his life, and he will never be the same as he was. He may deeply regret his behavior, especially if it is something that has made you miserable, like infidelity, but he can neither explain or control it.