The Complexity of Confucian Chinese Family Relationship

Although Chinese society has been heavily influenced by the West in recent years, many Chinese still cling to their long held beliefs in Confucianism. Although not technically a religion, Confucianism does encourage certain types of behavior while discouraging other types of behavior in the pursuit of harmony. One of the most prominent features of Confucianism is the belief in the importance of the family and in the hierarchy of the family. While Confucius recognized the importance of friend-friend relationships and emperor-subject relationships, he considered family relationships the backbone of society.

Confucius began his studies by looking at Chinese villages. While doing so, he recognized three pairs of relationships within each family. To his mind, these relationships where hierarchal with one person "in charge" of the other. The relationships pairs he recognized were parent to child, husband to wife, and elder to younger. In each case, Confucius believed that one person (the husband, parent, or elder) should command and protect while the other (the wife, the child, or the younger) should obey. Each position came with it certain responsibilities and obligations.

Obviously, Chinese Confucian society was, and continues to be highly paternalistic. This makes it quite similar to most societies in human history, although few societies have developed such a rigid, formalized family hierarchy as did the Chinese. Although it is less true today as China continues to modernize, the chief goal of Chinese families for many thousands of years was to perpetuate the family name. That is why such a premium was placed on boys. Boys perpetuated the family name while girls did not.