Three Things to Do If You Find Out Your Child Has Been Shoplifting

As a City Prosecutor, I see it all too often. Young women, from eighteen to twenty-five, come into court on shoplifting or other types of retail theft charges. What is it about shoplifting that appeals to so many young women of this age? It is hard for me to tell, but there are a few steps to take if you find out that your daughter has been shoplifting.

First, don't excuse the behavior. Many parents, in an attempt to "help" their child, mistake minimization of the problem for help. They seek to guide the child through the criminal or court process, only to later realize that all they've done is make excuses for the child. "Oh, it's not really her fault - it was just a misunderstanding." "She only did it because she was with friends." "It was just her first time." "She'll never do it again - just give her a break." I've heard these and many other pleas time and time again. What the parents don't seem to realize is that giving the child a break is often not the most helpful thing for them. One of the most important things to do is let your child take responsibility for their actions. They are now adults, over the age of majority. No matter how much they still seem like a child to you, they are considered adults by the law. In order for them to learn from their mistakes, it often requires that they face the consequences and you don't make excuses for them.