Is Fear Keeping You Single?

Most of us want to feel loved. With very few exceptions, we all need companionship and have an urge to share our lives with a significant other. Assuming a reasonable level of intelligence, personality, social capability and attractiveness, why is it that some have difficulty in linking with that special person whilst everyone else appears to be coupling up around them? Could it be that fear is a contributory factor?

There are a few reasons why people fear becoming involved. The fear of suffocation, of losing your independence is one. A fear of failing in a relationship and the potential for getting hurt is another. The truth is, however, that the desire for love is so strong in most of us that while these may necessitate caution, rarely do they prevent us from taking the plunge. The one overriding factor is the fear of rejection.

Rejection in love is unlike any other. To be turned down for a job is a relatively minor thing, since it is only an assessment of a particular skill or your appropriateness to a specific position but rejection in love is completely different. It involves the very essence of everything about who we are and how attractive we are perceived to be by others. As such, it brings all our insecurities into play. Quite simply put, will this person see me as being good enough for them, or even see a possibility worthy of further scrutiny? Or am I to be summarily dismissed?

It is these insecurities which more often than not prevent us from making the move in the first place, not knowing the potential outcome being deemed preferable to the possibility of rejection. But does it have to be this way? The reality is that this has much more to do with how we perceive ourselves, than it does with the observations of others. This is one of the main reasons why people are most likely to choose to date those that they consider to be of a similar level of attractiveness to themselves.